Yikes!

I have only a week left until the Shamrock Shuffle. I’m starting to freak out a little bit. I’ve been running outside at the park and I am getting better, but I’m still not where I thought I’d be at this point. One thing I have to let go is the idea that once I’ve practiced enough running won’t be hard anymore. That seems to be constantly in the back of my mind when I’m running – “This is still hard, so I must be doing something wrong.” “This is still hard, so maybe I just won’t ever be good at this.” Somehow I know intellectually that running will always be hard, but emotionally I still feel somewhat defeated every time I get out there and I have to work for each step. I don’t know what I should do to get my intellect and emotion in sync on this subject.

That said, on Saturday I ran 5 miles in 1 hour and 8 sections! YAY! I understand that I’m not going to be secretly scouted by the Olympics with that speed, but I’m very proud of myself. At some point, it’s just the getting there that makes me so happy. Hell, I’m old, kind of chubby, and I’ve only been running since last summer – not even a full year yet. Running 5 miles and living to tell about it is an accomplishment all on its own.

I would like to finish the Shamrock Shuffle in under an hour, though. Hey, that’s only 8 seconds that I need to shave off my time. I can do that! All I have to do is run the full 5 miles without taking time for self-criticism and doubt. Or, maybe just use faster paced running music. Perhaps that’s how I can measure my progress… Have I surpassed my Pittbull running tunes and advanced to The Prodigy? Cool!